Friday, October 1, 2010

An empty notebook

There is something about sitting down with a pen and an empty notebook and I guess I feel excited in the same way about my new blog!  Will I post pictures?  Write poems?  Journal?  Share recipes?  Should I pick one topic or let my mind wander?  Should I boldly blog where no blogger has gone before?

Yes, I think.  Yes to everything.  (Oh yeah - there I go.  Right off the bat, and I'm saying YES to everything.  Typical me.)

Every life is full of those "Be Quiet or Someone Will Hear" moments.  One would think that at the age of mid-thirty-something, I wouldn't feel the need to be so reserved.  But, I have.  Through our very strained relationship, I still worry what my mom thinks.  Even though I haven't talked to her in awhile over a year, I have these long conversations with her in my head each time I do something I know she wouldn't approve of.  Strange, huh. 

Growing older has changed me in so many ways.  Do you feel the same?  Am I the only person out there who gets bolder and braver with each passing birthday?  And why is it like this now?  Do I care less what other people think, and just speak my mind...  or do I know so much more that I finally have something important to say?

So I sit here with my figurative empty notebook, my cup of 1/2 hot chocolate - 1/2 coffee, and so many words.  Lessons, stories, laughs, feelings, fears, and values.  I hope those that take a minute to read come back for a few more - and I hope those that I'm writing for know how much I truly love them - and can feel it in these words even years after I'm not here anymore.  I love all of you so much.  Never in my heart did I imagine that I'd have enough inside of me to love all of you this much.  But I do.

Have a wonderful day - and I hope you find a million little things to smile about as you fall asleep tonight.


Mom, Me, Yours. 

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